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A quick message from an executive coach on shifting one frequently used word can shift your entire life.
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Thanks to MusicOpen for providing public domain recordings of Beethoven.
TRANSCRIPT:
Yes, and… vs. But
Hello. I’m Tony Mayo, the Business Owner’s Executive Coach with one quick idea you can use in your business …today.
One of the most dangerous and harmful words we commonly use is … “but”
Yeah, really. Banishing your buts in the way I’m about to suggest, will drive major improvement in your results —and …in your relationships.
Consider this example. When you say to someone, “I’d love to come to your event but I have another engagement”, that word …but has just negated and devalued what came before. What they’re really hearing is, “I was lying when I said, ‘I’d love to come to your event.’ In truth, there is something I’d rather be doing at that time.” Is that the message you want to send, that half of what you say is –at best– inaccurate and unreliable?
People only hear the words after the but.
An even more common example, someone brings you an idea and you say … but what about this problem, … but what about that change? Your but dismisses what the person just said. How eager is that person going to be to bring you their next idea when they know you’re just going to butt in and shove it aside; push it down with your butt and raise your own ideas?
Luckily, it’s very simple to break this habit. Just practice replacing the short word “but” with the short word “and”
“And” is additive.
“And” increases. [Speed up]
“And” includes what was said before.
“And” puts more into the mix.
Listen to how different this sounds. “I’d love to come to your event… And I have something else I need to do at that time.” I haven’t reduced how much I’d love to come to the event. I’ve just _added_ to it an explanation of why I won’t be there.
I’ve heard your idea _and_ we could consider this … _and_ we might also try that. I’m taking what they’ve given me and putting additional things with it. We’re growing instead of grinding down.
Please, stop … butting into other people’s ideas.
Stop squashing your own words with a big, ugly butt
Stop “butting” in collaborative conversations.
Use “and” … every time —it is a small word, but it adds up.
{Did you see what I did there?} [Chuckle]
Thanks for listening.
I hope you enjoy this podcast, that you apply it,
and share it.
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