Learned Resilience

Study after study has shown that people who function well under stress share several core beliefs:

  • see times of change and uncertainty not as dangerous but as exciting opportunities;
  • focus on what they can do to improve a stressful situation, rather than growing helpless; and
  • maintain a sense of commitment to the world around them, instead of withdrawing.

Studies of everyone from classical musicians to competitive swimmers have found no difference at all between elites and novices in the intensity of their pre-performance anxiety; the poised, top-flight performers, however, were far more likely to describe their fear as an aid to success than the non-elites. No matter what skill we’re trying to improve under pressure—working on deadline, public speaking, staying cool on a first date—learning to work with fear instead of against it is a transformative shift.

Tiger Blood:
What it takes to keep cool under pressure.
Taylor Clark in Slate Magazine
.

Always Learning

 


 

baby

Years ago, an experienced coach and mentor began our meeting by asking about my first child. Just 18 months old, he was eagerly crawling and using a few words.

“It’s a fascinating time,” I replied. “You can almost hear the wheels turning in his head as he experiments to find out what combination of noises and movements is going to get him what he wants.”

I heard myself and paused to absorb the insight.

 

“Wow!,” I continued. “That is still how I spend most of my day.”

 

But not every day. How often do you actually examine how well your “noises and movements” are serving you? Don’t we all expend a lot of energy just repeating tired and familiar strategies rather than observing our results and experimenting with new communications?

It is rare to be as eager and innovative as a baby yet how can we fail to be impressed with the child’s rapid progress? Experimenting, responding, growing, moving forward, relentlessly alive–children know how to learn.

 

How do you stay green and growing? One reliable technique for enhancing our learning, of course, is to work with a supportive and insightful executive coach and surround yourself with people who share your commitment to conscious development.

 


 

Set & Achieve Your Goals with The Business Owner’s Executive Coach

Yogi Berra
You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going because you might not get there.

–Yogi Berra


 

People have been using my goal-setting process to create better lives for over twenty years. Their improvements benefit themselves, their families, friends, and colleagues. Clients have reported extraordinary results in all areas of their lives, including doubled revenue, increased family time, and reduced stress. Participants have credited it for their weddings, career changes, speaking opportunities, and published books.

 

Goal setting works.
Like any tool, it works best with expert guidance and proven methods.

To register, learn more, or arrange for Tony Mayo to deliver this workshop privately for your company use (more…)

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]


Today’s podcast, “Breakdown vs. Problem” is the audio from a webinar presented by Tony Mayo, The Business Owner’s Executive Coach. Listen to this recording and then join us for Tuesdays with Tony at Twelve, a weekly, free webinar where you can explore powerful executive coaching tools and ask Tony about applying them in your life and career.

Tony continues last week’s discussion by reviewing the meaning of breakthrough, the environments that foster breakthroughs, and the foundational importance of our interpretation of events.

We focus on a powerful tool for managing our responses to unwelcome or unexpected events. Declaring a “breakdown” instead of calling it a “problem,” opens powerful possibilities for insight and action.

Today’s distinctions include:
• Conversation vs. complaining
• Victim or Agent
• Blame or Learn
• Resistance vs. Acceptance

Video, handouts, and other resources from this and other webinars are available for free at:
https://TonyMayo.com/Tuesdays/

(more…)

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]

046 Breakdown to Breakthrough • PODCAST [Refresh]


Today’s podcast, “Breakdown to Breakthrough” is the audio from a webinar presented by Tony Mayo, The Business Owner’s Executive Coach. Listen to this recording and then join us for Tuesdays with Tony at Twelve, a weekly, free webinar where you can explore powerful executive coaching tools and ask Tony about applying them in your life and career.

Tony continues last week’s discussion by reviewing the meaning of breakthrough, how to manage yourself and your environment to increase your chances of experiencing breakthroughs, and the foundational importance of taking control of our interpretation of events.

Today’s distinctions include:
• Why are some coaching concepts called “distinctions”?
• The holographic, non-linear nature of coaching distinctions
• The benefits of not resisting, even welcoming breakdowns
• Both breakdown and breakthrough are creations in language
• The background of obviousness
• Speech Acts: Declaration is an action that changes the world

Video, handouts, and other resources from this and other webinars are available for free at:
https://TonyMayo.com/Tuesdays/

(more…)

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]

045 Creating Your Clearing for Breakthrough • PODCAST [Refresh]


Today’s podcast, “Creating Your Clearing for Breakthrough” is the audio from a webinar presented by Tony Mayo, The Business Owner’s Executive Coach. Listen to this recording and then join us for Tuesdays with Tony at Twelve, a weekly, free webinar where you can explore powerful executive coaching tools and ask Tony about applying them in your life and career.

Tony continues last week’s discussion by reviewing the meaning of breakthrough, how to manage yourself and your environment to increase your chances of experiencing breakthroughs.

Today’s distinctions include:
• Interpretation: the thick, distorting filter between us and reality

• The Foundational Practice for Breakthrough
1. I am interpreting events.
2. I can be responsible for my interpretation.

• Historical Discourse
• Always-Already Filter

Video, handouts, and other resources from this and other webinars are available for free at:
https://TonyMayo.com/Tuesdays/

(more…)

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]

043 Clearing for Breakthrough • PODCAST [Refresh]


Today’s podcast, “Clearing for Breakthrough” is the audio from a webinar presented by Tony Mayo, The Business Owner’s Executive Coach. Listen to this recording and then join us for Tuesdays with Tony at Twelve, a weekly, free webinar where you can explore powerful executive coaching tools and ask Tony about applying them in your life and career.

Tony explains the meaning of a breakthrough and discusses how to use the insights available from a breakthrough to dramatically accelerate your performance.

Video, handouts, and other resources from this and other webinars are available for free at:
https://TonyMayo.com/Tuesdays/

(more…)

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]

042 Be More Curious, Effective, and Empathetic • PODCAST [Refresh]


Today’s podcast, “Be More Curious, Effective, & Empathetic” is the audio from a webinar presented by Tony Mayo, The Business Owner’s Executive Coach. Listen to this recording and then join us for Tuesdays with Tony at Twelve, a weekly, free webinar where you can explore powerful executive coaching tools and ask Tony about applying them in your life and career.

Tony teaches a crucial skill for better conversations, smoother work relationships, and greater productivity. The key is asking more questions, even responding to direct questions not with a simple answer, but with genuine curiosity, asking “clarifying questions” to discover exactly what your employee, sales prospect, or best friend really want from you.

Video, handouts, and other resources from this and other webinars are available for free at:
https://TonyMayo.com/Tuesdays/

(more…)

047 Breakdown vs Problem • PODCAST [Refresh]

041 The Conversation Contract • PODCAST [Refresh]


Today’s podcast, “The Conversation Contract” is the audio from a webinar presented by Tony Mayo, The Business Owner’s Executive Coach. Listen to this recording and then join us for Tuesdays with Tony at Twelve, a weekly, free webinar where you can explore powerful executive coaching tools and ask Tony about applying them in your life and career.

Tony teaches his all-purpose, 3-step process for making any conversation more comfortable, agreeable, and effective. He discusses applications to sales, supervision, and marriage. The Conversation Contract™ works for quick telephone calls, annual reviews, sales presentations, and week-long workshops. It is the way to get more done in less time with less stress by negotiating quick, clear, and clean mutual agreements.

Video, handouts, and other resources from this and other webinars are available for free at:
https://TonyMayo.com/Tuesdays/

(more…)