Establish the habit of slowing down your responses to questions, to save time and trouble. A simple and effective way to do this is by training yourself to respond to every question with a clarifying question. This gives the questioner a chance to explain why they asked and what they are trying to accomplish. You’ll be surprised how often the quick answer you might have given would not have helped them –or you– at all.
Suppose, for example, you shipped that big report yesterday, just as you had promised. Today the client telephones and asks, “Have you sent that report yet?” Simple yes or no question, right? Maybe not.
It’s not the things you don’t know, what gets you into trouble.
It’s the things you do know, that just ain’t so.
–Will Rogers
If you say “Yes, I did.” their response is “Thanks. Good bye.” If instead, you invite the client to clarify by asking, “There’s a reason you happened to ask me about that just now?”, the client might say: “I’m going to be in your building today, so I thought I might pick it up.” or “I was hoping to make a change to the requirements before it went out.” or “You promised it yesterday and I don’t have it yet, so [a. I hate you. or b. I hate my mailroom. or c. My boss told me to pester you.”] or any of a hundred other clarifications. Aren’t these things you would like to know? How much communication are you blocking with your reflexive responses? People love to be heard. Draw them out by responding with clarifying questions. It will help them to speak and remind you to listen.
For the rest of today, at work and at home, each time you hear a question, remember: amplify before answering.
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Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
Stephen Covey
7 Habits of Highly Effective People
See also, Get smarter by asking “dumb” questions
See also, Why work for nothing?
A wise tip, especially the reminder to listen that comes about by asking questions. And the additional bonus of seeing one’s assumptions and being surprised by what one takes for granted!
Thanks Tony!
Very valuable message, attempting to integrate it into my communication style. I had an example recently of a large sales opportunity that after exhaustive due diligence, contract negotiation, had one of prospects analyst call to say that our cost for a certain service seemed much higher than their current costs and provided the figures. In the past I would have gone into an analysis, comparison of quality and features, justifying the value, etc. Instead, I just asked why he was asking, he said he wanted to make sure his math was correct. He’s concern was that his report was accurate not whether our costs were higher. I assured him that his math was accurate, relieved and reassured, he thank me for “all the help” and they signed the contract.
That was a great post…I love this site…Thanks
That was a great post…I love this site…Thanks
With this post in mind, I just learned a valuable lesson. In reviewing a draft legal document provided to me, the author asked whether my firm would like to include disciplinary measures. It seems to me that such measures are already included in the previous paragraph, so I began a note in the draft, “Isn’t that what the final sentence of this paragraph provides?” How arrogant. Instead, I left a note asking how the disciplinary measures would be different from the description ending the above paragraph. What a difference.
Too, regardless of whether or not the reader ever notices a difference in tone — which would be hard considering she’ll never see the first version — I feel much better living in a stance of inquiry rather than a posture of “what are you talking about?”
Thanks, Tony