The COVID pandemic has forced many of us to migrate even more of our lives online. Much of our world is now viewed through the keyhole of a screen, constricted to two dimensions; restricted to where the camera aims and what the text claims. We’re losing touch, texture, and context. The absence of familiar social cues defeats our usual attempts at attention and discretion, leaving us in thrall to well-financed and algorithmically-tuned manipulation of our fascination.
This insight is not original to me. On the contrary, this insight was not acceptable to me.
In 1997, when I read, A radical theory of value, in Wired, I thought Professor Goldhaber was nuts or grasping for a headline with another The Internet changes everything! hyperbole. The shocking subtitle was meant literally, The currency of the New Economy won’t be money, but attention. I was skeptical. Sure, every child is exhorted to, “Pay attention!” But that was a “just” metaphor. I had not noticed anyone collecting money for the attention “paid.”
Now, I see his prediction manifested globally. How else to explain the (more…)
As a coach and advisor to business owners, I find that the resolutions for many of our most complex, challenging management situations become simple and obvious when we use precise language to accurately describe exactly what has happened and what we want to help happen. Getting work done is faster and easier, for example, for entrepreneurs who understand the five aspects of trust, the operative features of a powerful request, and the distinct types of group agreement.
Leadership success requires accurate evaluations of colleagues and keen cognizance of how others are evaluating us as leaders. Managers can improve these judgements by understanding the difference between four common words that are too often used interchangeably.
One action or omission may breach all four though not in every case.
Integrity comes from engineering. A machine or system with all of its parts and components working together as intended and expected has integrity. Integrity for the human machine is consistency of behaviors, often summarized as, “Do what you said you would do.”
Integrity isn’t right or wrong, good or bad. It just works.
Morality is that aspect of a culture which delineates “good behavior.” Morality is how we “ought” to do things around here, the requirements for being respectable. Morality emerges from some combination of intuition and mysticism, from the nature of being human, not by vote, volition, or convention.
Ethics is a set of rules specifically defining the behaviors required
for membership in a group and enjoyment of the privileges membership confers. A
defining characteristic of modern professions, e.g., accountants, lawyers,
physicians, is a Code of Ethics. Ethics are manmade and can be changed
Law defines behaviors that can be punished by government. A unique characteristic of government is a monopoly on the initiation of force. Laws may be arbitrary or democratic, stable or capricious, and applied with equality or discrimination.
These last three are about right and wrong. Integrity is in that field Rumi wrote a poem about. 😉
Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
and rightdoing there is a field.
I’ll meet you there.
A Great Wagon by Rumi
Those three also require imposed punishment:
- Violate the law and risk violence.
- Breach ethics and risk dismemberment (exclusion from membership).
- Fail to act morally and be shamed, excluded from society.
Integrity does not require enforcement or punishment. Lack of integrity carries its own intrinsic punishments. Behaving with integrity just works better.
For the key to these distinctions, many thanks to, Integrity: A Positive Model That Incorporates The Normative Phenomena Of Morality, Ethics, And Legality by Erhard, Jensen, & Zaffron
Click here to listen as Matt and Dan speak with Tony on the SPRH podcast about how you can go deep into your purpose for your small business.
Tony shares practical tips to help business owners to run a larger, more lucrative business with less stress & overwhelm.
You may also enjoy The Conversation Contract podcast episode or this blog post from Tony, One more question…
Sorry, this limited time offer has ended. All material is included in the new, expanded edition available in paperback, hardcover, Kindle, and audio versions. Click here for more details on this blog.
I am happy to make available at no charge and for a limited time the bonus chapter to my Amazon #1 best-selling book, The Courage to be in Community. The free bonus chapter is a simple, practical guide to building better relationships at work and at home. The focus of the book was the importance of compassion and authenticity, while this new section is all about implementation, with specific advice on how to be compassionate and authentic in your day-to-day life.
This free download also includes links to recommended books and articles for further study and practice.
Expanded 2nd Edition Now on Sale!
Tony’s short book on building community is now available
with an extra chapter and a guide to additional resources.
The new chapter is a simple, practical guide to building better relationships at work and at home. The focus of the book is the importance of compassion and authenticity, while this new section is all about implementation, with specific advice on how to be compassionate and authentic in your day-to-day life.
This expanded edition also includes links to recommended books and articles for further study and practice.
➤ Paperback , hardcover, and Kindle available on Amazon!
➤ Paperback and hard cover available on Barnes and Noble!
Audio version read by Tony Mayo also available.
To hear a sample click here for Audible or iTunes.
Professor Dacher Keltner shares insights from the new science of touch. How touch increases confidence, cooperation, and communication.
The Science of a Meaningful Life
This is a wonderful short article by a friend of mine, published in The Washington Post.
I turned to look and saw three store employees around a sobbing middle-aged woman. I returned to the checkout.
I thought to myself, we lose something by being afraid of each other.
–Read the story here:
Answering a Cry for Help With a Touch of Humanity
By Margaret Cary, MD
What is the most important result of your work with executive coach Tony Mayo?
“Communication effectiveness with direct and indirect reports to produce desired results.”
People think in stories. No, that’s not the important thing. People feel in stories. Feelings (emotions) help people decide, buy, stay loyal, and refer new customers.
“One of the things Whole Foods taught us is the need to tell stories” about our products, Mr. Heinen said. In fact, Heinen’s has 50 stories that it trains employees to tell customers about its meat, produce, baked goods and other items.
Heinen’s Fine Foods in
The New York Times
What stories are your customers and prospective customers hearing about you?
See also, Creation Myths and Why We Need Them: Origins.